Time To Shine
by x.diamondsareforever.x
Summary: Lily Evans and James Potter loved each other from the start? BULL. If I can't make you smile then it's highly likely you're a plank of wood. R
1. One

**Disclaimer: If I owned it would I be doing this? **

I don't believe what I just heard.

Lily likes James.

Lily Evans likes James Potter.

Lily Evans **loves** James Potter.

Alright, I admit love is potentially a little exaggerated, but to be honest it's just a matter of time before they get married and have little squishy babies. Bless.

How do I know this? I'm Lily's friend, maybe her best friend. We often find ourselves spending time together - most of the time due to a lack of suitable alternatives.

And she tells me stuff. A **lot** of stuff. But all of the stuff she's ever told me this was the most unbelievable. I always knew she was in denial; but this was pure gold. A confession.

I was considering recording it and producing an extended remix, then blasting it from all corners of the school.

Over the top? Nah.

She even blushed when she said it.

That's right.

She **blushed**. Like one of those 'should be scientifically impossible to be that moronic' chicks with more boobs than brains. Lily Evans doesn't do blushes. In all the time I've known her she hasn't blushed once. Until yesterday evening of course.

And it's not like she took me to one side to tell me; and she wasn't giggling like some mindless goof ball. It just sort of popped out of her mouth. I don't think she even realised what she said. Well five minutes later, when I stopped writing my Potions essay and just gaped at her, **then** she noticed. She went the exact same colour as Valerie's lipstick – a curdling, blood red. It was pretty cool really, because Lily's a redhead so she sort of looked like a tomato. With frizz sprouting out the top. Which would lead you to believe you had purchased a questionable vegetable. Fruit? Vegetable? What's the deal with the seeds?

I digress.

She didn't say anything when I punched the air.

She didn't do anything when I punched **her**.

When I opened my mouth to scream it to the world, **then** she clamped her hand firmly over my mouth. And I have a pretty big mouth so it was an amazing feat for her; since she's got tiny hands.

"What?" I hissed.

"Don't!"

"Don't what?"

"Don't tell **anybody** what you just heard. ANYBODY!"

"Jesus, I think they all heard that."

"Williams!"

She only refers to me by my last name when she's really mad. But in this case I think she was just really humiliated. Funny kind of friendship we have.

"Fine, just repeat what you just confessed."

She looked at me like I was crazy. I am crazy so it made a hell of a lot of sense, but I just grinned encouragingly.

"I like James Potter," she whispered.

I think she was saying it more to herself than to me.

"Again," I said.

"I like James Potter."

"Say it again!"

"I **really** like James Potter."

"Getting a bit carried away now aren't-"

"NO! I KNOW HOW I FEEL!"

"PREACH SISTER!"

This got me several weird looks. I had forgotten there were other people in the common room. I tend to do that a lot. I gave Lily an extremely goofy smile. I have two smiles. Goofy and evil. Let me explain the uses of my smiles to you:

**The Goofy Smile**

When I am trying to make someone feel better. (Very rare)

When I'm feeling generally goofy.

When I want to imply that I am a goofball.

When I want to freak someone out.

When I'm thinking of something stupid and smile for no reason.

**The Evil Smile**

When I'm trying to make someone feel about as big as this full stop. No wait. Smaller.

When I'm feeling generally evil.

When I want to imply, "You sucker, I'M EVIL!"

When I want to freak someone out.

When I've successfully gotten someone into shit.

When I'm thinking of an evil thing I've done in the past or am going to do.

Now it's up to you to work out for which reason I use my smiles. Sometimes it's fairly obvious. Other times; I'm clueless myself as to why I'm actually smiling.

Back to Lily and her undying love for James. I smiled evilly to myself.

"You're smiling."

"So? I smile."

"It's an **evil** smile…"

"And?"

"What are you thinking about Courtney?"

"You and your undying love for James."

Five short sweet seconds passed before I was battered mercilessly with a pillow, only to be (barely) saved by the wonderful, amazing Remus Lupin.

"REMUS! SAVE ME!"

.Lily paused her pillow torture to greet Remus, then continued. Exactly seven minutes later (Remus was timing it) the beating ceased. I emerged from it's fluffy depths with hair like the bride of Frankenstein (except for the white streaks) and smudged eyeliner.

"So," began Remus, sipping some water, "Why were you torturing your best friend?"

I guess I am her best friend.

An evil smile took over my face. Even Remus noticed it.

"And, pray tell, what evil misdeed are you thinking about now?" he asked tiredly.

"Lily's undying love for James!" I squeaked, much to my dismay.

I think the pillows did something to my vocal chords.

Remus spat out his water onto my face. Fucking beautiful.

"Thanks Remus," I said sweetly through gritted teeth. Well as sweet as talking through gritted teeth can get.

"How did you get **that** out of her?"

"She confessed blatantly."

"Sad."

"True."

Lily spluttered, "What do you mean sad?"

"Well what were you talking about when you confessed your undying love? I pictured it as you would run around screaming it down the corridors."

A pillow headed Remus' way, but he artfully dodged it with a quick flick of his head. Well it's not **my** fault I was sitting down.

A look of realisation displayed itself on Lily's face. She nodded her agreement.

"You guys are right. Jumping Mexican beans and my love for James do not belong in the same sentence. Sad."

**A/N: Hello ******


	2. Two

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! : ) **

Remus was so confused he had to sit down. Poor guy. We give him a pretty hard time. I mean he's one of the nicest people I know. Scratch that he's probably **the **nicest guy I know.

Sometimes I think to myself, if this is what I treat Remus like how do I treat the people I hate?

And then my brain fizzles out from the overload of thinking.

"How do **beans**-"

"Jumping Mexican beans, Remus," I politely corrected.

Well as polite as I can get. He scowled at me. Remus Lupin hates being corrected especially by someone who has an exceedingly low IQ. Like myself.

"It doesn't make a difference, so back to my point-"

"But it does make a difference," I insisted, bitch that I am, "Normal beans do **not** jump and are in no way Mexican; lest they are imported directly from Mexico. Therefore-"

"Courtney, your knowledge of beans is not important at this precise moment in time. Whether they were Mexican or jumping – I mean how do beans jump?"

"Don't ask me!"

"You seem to be the source of all bean information, oh bean queen, so please enlighten us!" he hissed.

"Bean queen? What sort of gay name is that?"

"I was making a **point**."

"You seem to be making a lot of them lately."

As Remus opened his mouth to say something, no doubt something that would challenge my statement, Lily delightfully decided to stop our argument over beans. It sounds very sad when you say it like that. So I'll put it this way.

Lily delightfully decided to stop our mature discussion over large plant seeds.

That sounds even worse.

"Don't you want to hear how **beans **– oh shut up Courtney – and James fit into the same sentence?"

"I already know," I muttered, because of course I did, **I** was the one who heard her say it.

"Of course, mighty bean queen, you know all," said Remus in his most sarcastic voice. If that stuff was bottled it would be more acidic than the stuff in our stomachs.

I decided not to acknowledge his words and just sat there mute.

"Well I was explaining to Courtney about how Mexican jumping beans-"

"**Jumping** Mexican beans."

"What difference does it make?"

"None whatsoever."

Lily sighed and shook her head. Whenever she does that I know that I've pissed her off.

"I was explaining to her that they aren't actually edible and-"

"James isn't edible either and therefore the similarities between the two sparked off your amorous feelings?"

At that precise moment in time I loved Remus more than anything. As he didn't spend as much time with Lily as I did, he failed to notice the dangerous glint in her eye that indicated imminent terror.

I poked him with my quill. The inky side. He gave a gasp of mock horror. Well I think it was mock.

"Look what you've done! Now my shirt is BLUE!"

There was a little blob of blue ink on his shirt sleeve. I thought it was pretty cool. Remus obviously didn't.

"LISTEN TO ME!" Lily yelled. She's got quite a set of lungs on her, that one does. Cue imminent terror.

We were immediately silenced by her words which proceeded to echo through the common room, much to the dismay of the couple making out in the shadows. I rose to go and tell them to get a room, or words to that effect, when I was unceremoniously yanked back by Lily.

I landed on my butt. On the floor. The least she could have done was ensured that I was on the couch. I curled up into a ball and rocked backwards and forwards; pretending to cry. It got me none of the attention I was craving.

"So I told her that there's these little worms inside the beans-"

I was dramatically silenced by a glare, before I had time to utter a word. My mouth remained open until I was reprimanded to shut it.

I felt unloved. And when I feel unloved I seek revenge. I inhaled sharply and screamed, "Lily thinks he would be great in bed!"

Complete utter silence ensued. There seemed to be a lot of those, more than average.

Someone coughed, I think it was Peter. Then the object of our heated discussion and his side kick (Stupidus Black) strolled up to us. Of course they regard themselves as equals; but whenever I want to piss them off I refer to him as the 'side kick'. I thought they were going to take Remus away, to help them prepare one of their **master** pranks. Obviously not. Peter followed three paces behind them. What a worm.

"Who does flowerpot think would be good in bed?" asked James, with an enthusiastic nod from Sirius. Side kickish or what?

I realised then they were talking to me. I smiled evilly.

"Lord, no," I heard Lily whisper. She recognised the type of smile. She knows me way too well.

I got to my feet ready for a fast exit. I took a deep breath, yelled, "SEVERUS SNAPE!" and sprinted out of the common room.

It was so quiet you could have heard a single strand of hair crash to the floor. I stuck my ear to the common room door, much to the dismay of the Fat Lady. She's called the **Fat** Lady for a reason you know.

I heard James chuckle and say, "Snape? Really? Didn't know you were one of those girls where size didn't matter, babe."

Sirius snorted, presumably with laughter. Either that or he farted. I like to think the latter was true.

Lily hissed, "Sorry to correct you, **babe**, but it does – and that's why I like to keep a clear distance from you."

Ouch. The worst way to get a guy to fall for you is to bring up how small his pee pee is.

I was unceremoniously flung aside as she barged out the common room. Did I mention how unceremonious it was?

"Hello, friend, "I beamed.

Lily resembled a heavily breathing dragon at this point, "What," she hissed, "was that?"

"I gave you an opportunity to have a civil conversation with the object of your affection."

"About Severus' sexual prowess!"

I beamed again. Really need to stop doing that.

"Well it's a conversation starter…"


	3. Three

There's only so long you can stay in a corridor. Especially when you have a fire breathing dragon (or frustrated teenage redhead, maybe I exaggerate) snorting flames down your neck (or hot breath, whatever).

"Well you have to admit I got you guys talking!" I screeched.

"ABOUT SEVERUS. IN BED. NOT COOL, COURTNEY. NOT COOL."

I think I threw up a little bit at the thought of Snape in a lacy black thong reclining on a bed. Gross.

"OK, maybe it's not the best pick up line," I backed away a little bit as she continued to glare, "but doesn't it make you feel better that he cared enough to come and talk to you? I mean it makes a difference to him who YOU find sexually proficient."

Lily's nostrils flared, and she resembled a dragon more and more, "THAT'S ONLY BECAUSE HE WAS HOPING IT WOULD BE HIM!"

The girl makes me want to rip out my hair. "BUT YOU WANT HIM TO KNOW YOU LIKE HIM!"

"NO I DON'T!"

The female mind boggles the brain. "BUT YOU DO!"

"SO?"

I gaped at her. After centuries (or maybe a couple of years) of back and forth banter, of pick up lines, of rejections, she finally admits to having a crush on James. And now she wants to keep it all locked up? My brain, and I do have one, was close to imploding. Maybe James was a player, potentially he was the biggest narcissist in the universe BUT compared to Sirius he really wasn't all that bad.

I opened my mouth to eloquently state my case, but thought better of it as her eye twitched at me. Which is a sign that I may be faced with immediate death.

Lily growled at me and stormed into the common room, the door swinging open after her, and I heard her thumping up the stairs. I inhaled deeply, and decided to sneak in as quietly as possible. Which really isn't very quiet at all. Hopefully I could avoid all awkward questions and all contact with unwanted persons. In other words:

James Pothead

Sirius Twat

Remus Lupin (he** is** pretty decent)

Peter Big-Fat-Poo (I can't think of anything insulting. Pothead isn't exactly insulting but I'm not in a creative mood.)

I decided that if they were all there waiting for me to come back in and answer their tormented souls, then I would blow a raspberry at them and run away, quick. The raspberry purely for sentimental reasons.

The sigh of relief I breathed when I saw no one was in the room was the last breath I took.

Before someone clamped their scummy hand over my unnaturally large mouth.

So I did what any moron would do.

I bit the hand.

"She **bit** my hand! My fucking hand! She bit it! I'm going to get rabies or something!"

Ah, the girlish squeal of Sirius Black. One of the most rewarding things I could ever hear. It turned some girls on. I don't quite know how that works.

Someone whacked me on the back of my head. You know what they say about not hitting girls? Well that rule doesn't go here. In fact, a lot of rules don't go here.

"**Who** is good in bed?" urged James.

I realised the use of Severus Snape as a sex symbol hadn't shocked them into believing it was true. I had a sudden urge to say me, but I decided strongly against it. Instead I just smiled. My smiles talk for me.

"Oh shit she's smiling like that again," said Sirius, who doesn't know the first thing about my smiles – even if it's a goofy smile he assumes it's evil.

"Don't mind her she's drunk," said Remus, who actually **did try **to save me this time.

I don't know why I didn't think of that. I mean I'm notoriously known for getting so drunk I can barely stand up. But I'm a happy drunk. I'll skip around in circles singing Britney Spears, while everyone else watches in disbelief. I don't remember anything afterwards, of course, I just go on what people say. And they might be lying. But I tend to trust people. Sometimes too much.

"She's not drunk," persisted Peter, "her breath doesn't smell and she's not hyperactive."

The boy even sounds like a worm. Well if worms did talk then I bet he would sound like one.

"If worms talked, Peter, I think you'd sound like one."

I don't honestly know why I said that. When I think of strange and unusual things, which I do a lot, I tend to say them out loud. Accidentally of course. That's what I tell myself anyway.

"Well why don't we get a worm to talk?" asked Remus.

"Yes, Remus, let's go for a walk."

I giggled, partly to myself.

Sirius eyed me curiously, "What's so funny?"

"It rhymed!" I giggled again.

Remus sighed happily, "I **told** you she was drunk. Now do you believe me?"

"WHO IS GOOD IN BED?" yelled James.

I didn't know why he was so desperate to find out. I mean apart from the fact that he's slept with practically every girl in the school. He probably wanted to know it was him. And some boob-brain (who was hiding behind a couch) jumped out and managed to enlarge his already large skull, by batting her eyelashes and screaming:

"YOU ARE JAMES! I LOVE YOU JAMES!"

I would have said brain, but he doesn't have one.

James looked confused. As ever.

"I don't remember sleeping with you."

Wrong thing to say. She started crying like she had this unlimited source of water in her body. I mean, someone told me you can only cry thirty eight tears at a time. She broke the world record.

And she was right to cry. James is such a big fat player prick of a poo. I come up with strange insults, but they sound good. In my head anyway.


	4. Four

**A/N: Hey guys, had a couple of very busy days, but enjoy! Thanks for all the**** alerting etc drop me a review! X**

The sobbing blonde had fled from the common room, leaving a bewildered James, an apologetic looking Remus and a highly amused Sirius.

I could only gape at the lack of concern.

"Shut your mouth, Williams, something might fly in there," snarled Sirius.

"Something might fly into your face in a minute," I scowled.

James slouched into an armchair, pensive in thought, presumably trying to remember when, where and if he had had fun time with the blonde.

I gave him my most disgusted look, which involves curling one side of my lip upwards and kind of narrowing my eyes. I practiced for an **extremely** long time to perfect it – and NO it does not make me lame. Much.

He looked at me as if thinking deeply, and for a brief moment I thought my carefully crafted expression had worked its magic, and reminded him of the pathetic excuse for a human being he was. He opened his mouth and forth burst, "Conservatory Tower. Last year."

Sirius snorted with laughter and slapped him on the back with pride, "That's my boy!"

I snarled, swiveled on my heel and sprinted up the stairs to the girls dormitory, to get away from the human bin bags and also, hoping Lily had cooled down slightly, to make sure she hadn't dissolved into a pit of misery.

X-x-X

"Lily?" I ventured. I walked over to her curtain hangings and tugged at them. They wouldn't budge. Damn, that girl's good at charms. I found myself drifting back to that very lesson where we first met.

_I was so pissed off that was had a seating plan for Charms. The nerds were complaining that they might have to sit in the back row. I was just worried I would be sitting next to some know-it-all who would make me feel the size of this full stop. No wait. Smaller. _

_Oh I didn't know how bad it would get. _

_I was quite short back then, but I'm __**not**__ anymore. I am not short. Sorted._

_See how I keep interfering with my flashback? I amuse myself a lot. Pathetic._

_I struggled to look over the huddle of people who were looking at the plan stuck on the wall. Gradually they dispersed, and I looked to see I had a seat in the front row, much to my disgust. Another thing was much to my disgust. I was seated inbetween Frank Longbottom and Lily Evans. My life was about to end._

_Back in second year, before I got to know either of them; this is what I would have described them as (I wouldn't have described them as social outcasts, because I'm not exactly popular, and I'm certainly not a hypocrite):_

_**Pretend you're in a cheesy bachelor/ bachelorette show – go on use your imagination**_

_Ladies don't get your knickers in a twist over this guy (no seriously don't); his name is Frank Longbottom and his occupation is all-time nerd!_

_You could drain the oil from his hair and bottle it! Free massage oils ladies! Coo as you brush the heavenly dandruff flakes off his shoulders and smile as you help him with his pimples. He's yours to make and mould for those who like to dominate and for those who don't he will help you learn how to! He's so shy that you'd have a hard time getting him to say a word – but you can sure have fun (cough) trying. Ladies Frank Longbottom!_

_(Boos from crowd)_

_Seeing as how Lily's my friend now I won't make her a show. And I can't be bothered._

_In second year Lily didn't look __**at all**__ like a typical geek. It was just how she acted. She was such a suck up, a goody-two shoes. Her hair was bright red and amazingly frizzy. It didn't do her much justice. She had no confidence or self-esteem and in my books it just lowered her reputation substantially._

_Both of them weren't too happy about sitting next to me either._

_I mean I was just plain strange._

_Here's how our first ever conversation went:_

_Lily looked at me wide-eyed, "You're not taking notes?"_

_I glared at her, "Nope."_

"_But aren't you afraid?"_

_I snorted, "Afraid? Of what? T's?"_

_Her eyes held fear, "Yes!"_

Maybe success was important to her. I still don't know why. I'm not such a good friend. I really need to talk to her.

I pulled on the hangings again, and to my surprise they gave. I had yanked so hard that it partially ripped and I found myself tumbling into the centre of her bed. I landed face first. With my mouth muffled amongst the sheets I said, "Lily what's up?"

Well it sounded more like, "Loogy wut oop?"

I lifted my face from the blankets and repeated myself. Lily looked at me sorrowfully.

"James," she mumbled.

I laughed. I couldn't help it.

"Seriously, Lily I thought you were joking when you said you liked him."

"Does this look like the face of a joker to you?"

I couldn't help myself.

"Yes, honey, of course."

"Death by pillow?" she snarled.

I shook my head, "Why won't you tell him?"

"I need to be ready. I need to be sure. And it's weird, after all this time, it's like I'm giving in," she frowned.

I smiled at her, "Hormones. Question, what made you change your mind?"

"Well I thought maybe there's something else inside James."

"You mean like a brain?"

Cue glare.

"_No_. Maybe like a nicer person."

"You're **joking** right?"

"Courtney. Please listen. I didn't realise it before but I sort of like the way he asks me out all the time and his stupid compliments."

I smirked at her.

"What?" she asked.

"You're finally attracted to James Potter. And I think you like it."


	5. Five

**A/N: Hello! And no, sorry I don't think funnily is a word. Actually it's not flashing up with a red line underneath it so it might be. Hm.**

One of my eyes cracked open, and I lay in bed trying to recollect my conversation with Lily from last night.

Unusually, there was no delicate twittering emerging from her pillow.

When I say delicate twittering I mean fat snoring. I'm trying to be nice - as you can see it's clearly working out.

You see, Lily might be a feminine being but she snores like a gargoyle.

Not caring if she screamed like a banshee and proclaimed me to be a master of the lesbian arts (which I most certainly am not) I jumped on her.

There was a slight problem with her bed.

There was no one in it.

---------

Instinctively, my overactive brain (yes, yes I have one) started whirring with explanations as to where she could be so early on a Saturday morning.

I knew what had happened.

She had gone to shag James somewhere; I mean it made perfect sense. She had revealed her feelings for him, he was a complete man whore, and they got caught up in the moment.

But, I sadly realised that would have made sense with about ninety nine percent of any other member of the female population but perhaps not with Lily. The reasons for my logic are twofold.

Ok, that didn't sound like me.

Basically, I think there are two main reasons for why Lily wouldn't fiddle with James straight away.

Fiddle? Ok, whatever, you get it.

1. She has a shred of decency. Potentially multiple shreds.

2. I would like to believe James would treat her better than most girls, seeing how he as spent the majority of his life chasing her.

But what if James wouldn't change his ways for her? What if Lily was falling for completely the wrong kind of guy? The **hurtful** kind.

This annoying voice niggled in the back of my mind, I knew I had to pass it by her, the fact that James might relish in finally getting the one girl he couldn't, that he had no feelings for her past the physical. I mean, Lily's aesthetically pleasing to say the least.

I bit my lip – she probably wouldn't want relationship advice from the girl with the non existent track record.

I felt slightly sick; maybe with worry; maybe from the tuna rolls I had eaten yesterday.

Yuck. Tuna.

"Stupid tuna phobia," I said to myself and rolled out of Lily's bed. I landed with an ungraceful thump on the floor.

"Oh look it's woken up."

I was very dismayed to see Valerie hovering inches away from my face like she was about to kiss me.

Ew. Way too graphic.

"Yes **it** has," I managed to blurt out. Not one of my best comebacks.

Allow me to introduce, Valerie Hopkins. In a nutshell, queen slut. Moving swiftly onwards:

She crinkled her nose at me, "Where's Lily-freak?"

I grinned to myself (evil if I do say so myself) and said, "Shagging Potter somewhere."

It had the desired effect.

Said bitch spluttered, "What?! She **cannot** be shagging James somewhere! Oh Jamesie!"

I snorted. _Jamesie_, how rubbish was that? And since when did she have pet names for guys she wasn't…you know.

That was far worse than bean queen.

Definitely.

---------

I have great timing, as soon as I walked down the stairs to the common room James was walking down his. He glowered at me when he saw me. Oh the joys of life.

I beamed at him, "Seen Lily?"

He ignored me and walked on. Nice. I continued my descent into the common room and (unfortunately) buckled and crashed headfirst at James' feet. I heard him burst into belly laughter and inwardly groaned.

I scowled to myself, and lay there, playing dead. After five minutes or so, the twerp showed some signs of concern. He poked me with his foot. Gross.

"Courtney?"

I made no response.

So the first thing the rest of the Marauders saw when they came down was James standing there looking confused with me lying at his feet in a crumpled heap. Awkward.

"What did you **do** to her?" asked Sirius.

Twerp.

"Nothing! She fell!"

Remus looked at him, "And she's been lying there unconscious and you've done what?"

"Nothing."

"No shit," muttered Sirius.

"You could have at least checked to see she was alright."

"I did! I poked her!"

"You're a sad excuse for a human being."

James chuckled, "You're alright for a werewolf."

I sat up abruptly. Stupid I know.

"You what now?"

"Were you listening to everything we were saying?" Remus asked me, but with a smile twitching at the corners of his mouth.

"No!" I replied indignantly, "I wasn't!"

"Courtney Marisa Williams!"

I scowled at him. Damn him for knowing my full name.

"Marisa?" goggled Sirius.

"Yes Sirius **Twat**?"

"Oh she's good," grinned Peter, nodding enthusiastically.

"Shut it, moron."

I turned to Remus, "Werewolf?"

Remus fought back a laugh, "Yes. Aren't you going to run around screaming? Most girls do."

"I'm not most girls."

"I know."

We had a disturbingly long amount of eye contact. I didn't want to break it off, but Twatty-boy coughed.

He placed a hand on Remus' chest and one on my shoulder slowly pushing us apart.

I glared at him, "Don't fucking touch me," I laughed, "I might get rabies."

Sirius scowled back at me.

I turned to Remus wistfully, "This explains a hell of a lot, you know. And I'm also not talking to you."

Remus sighed, "Dealing with transforming into a lethal animal, freeze from Courtney, life sucks. May I know why?"

"You didn't tell me. I'm ashamed of you Remus Lupin, but I will break this promise for one moment. Where's Lily? She didn't come to bed."

James looked confused, "She didn't."

"That's what I said."

"I know."

"You're useless," I muttered, and stamped out of the common room to search for the missing redhead.


	6. Six

**A/N: FaithfulHPReader, you should get some sleep : - ), thanks for reviews slash favs slash alerts : - D enjoy!**

I had literally turned to exit the common room, when I had the misfortune to practically bump noses with Valerie. Close contact twice in the same morning. So **not** my day.

Anyway, she immediately went straight over to James and started devouring his face. I thought he would at least attempt to remove the blood sucking leech that had glued itself to his lips. But he didn't.

Then it hit me. They were together. Literally, and metaphorically speaking of course. Valerie broke off the kiss, for lack of a better word, giggled and sauntered out of the common room.

If James had been a gingerbread man, then all the buttons on his face would have been eaten or misplaced and the icing would have been smudged.

Yum, gingerbread.

So soft and chewy.

My mouth was gaping wide. Potentially lusting after some gingerbread. More to the point, it was the sheer shock of realising that James was going out with Valerie, **again**. I couldn't believe this, Lily had fallen for him at the worst possible time, he was blatantly still a man whore.

I picked the worst possible time to get hiccups. Probably from the distress of the situation. Sirius barked with laughter, and chortled, "You should probably get a drink or something."

"Do you really think I would take advice from a baboon?"

Sirius looked disgruntled, "You take your own advice on the daily."

I growled, "Watch it, bumhole."

Remus looked mildly amused, before delving into his bag and retrieving what looked like a bottle of water. Focus on the phrase – **looked like**.

He handed it to me, and I grudgingly thanked him before taking a large gulp. I noticed Remus had flushed a faint pink.

"What?"

Remus groaned slightly and grabbed the bottle back from me, intently reading the label. "I thought so."

"What?" I repeated.

"This…well…not…it's not water Courtney."

"WHAT! WHAT HAVE YOU POISONED ME WITH?"

I launched myself at Remus and grabbed the bottle, nearly choking as I screamed aloud, "Veritaserum!", while he mumbled it under his breath at the same time.

Sirius' eyes widened, "This should be fun."

My head snapped towards him, "Don't even go there."

He shot me a dazzling smile. "Do you, Courtney **Marisa** Williams, find me, Sirius Black, fit?"

I clamped my hands over my mouth. Shit shit shit. I felt my mouth open and words emerge, but they were thankfully muffled by my hands. I turned to dash for the exit, only to be rudely lunged at by Sirius. He was surprisingly strong for such a moron, and while he held me firmly in place, James prised my hands from my mouth.

"I, Courtney Marisa Williams" hiccup, "think you, Sirius Black", hiccup, "are fit."

I wanted to disappear. This couldn't be happening, his ego could possibly inflate so hugely it would burst and reform.

They both dropped me and dissolved into fits of laughter. I howled with despair, and punched him in the chest. He grabbed my arms and laughed, "Now, now, wouldn't want to destroy the fitness, would we?"

I glowered at him, and then shot Remus daggers. He was observing me with his head tilted on one side like some sort of professor. "You," I hissed, "are not a nice person."

Sirius still had a hold of me and pouted, "Is Courtney sad?" I took his lapse in concentration and wriggled out of his grasp. Hiccup.

"These hiccups," hiccup, "do not diminish the imminent threat you are all under."

Sirius smirked, "Sure. I'm not done. Does Lily like James?"

Oh no. No no no no no. I saw James perk up and listen intently. Against my will I spoke, "Yes," and immediately clamped my hands over my too big mouth.

James looked on eagerly, "Since when?"

"Yesterday."

His eyes narrowed.

I snapped, "Looks like it doesn't matter to you anyway, you've already found yourself a play buddy!"

"Play buddy?"

"Valerie you dingus."

James clasped his hands to his chest, "Well forgive me for wanting a nice, steady relationship filled with commitment and honesty."

The Marauders were on their knees with laughter.

I snarled.

James looked at me, "Look, did you honestly expect me to keep on waiting? I'm done Courtney. You couldn't have expected the constant humiliation to have gone on forever."

"What? But she likes you!"

Stupid truth drink hadn't worn off yet. Or maybe that was me talking. I didn't know.

"Too late."

I looked at him like he was on fire. I.e. with wonderment. Actually if he was on fire I would be rather concerned, so maybe that's not the right analogy.

Moving on.

"Are you being serious? Lily Evans, James. The girl you have pursued for YEARS."

"And who I've had no success with. Sorry, Courtney, this is clearly a passing phase, wanting to go out with someone doesn't spring from hate."

I hiccupped. This had not gone well. And Lily was still nowhere to be seen.


	7. Seven

**A/N: Hey guys thanks for the reviews :D…enjoy!**

Hiccups. Potentially the worst thing to grace this earth. Aside from Sirius Black.

Stupid Sirius.

Stupid Remus.

Ok, back to the point, as soon as I exited the common room I had the fortune (or misfortune depending on how you look at it) to smack heads with dear Lily.

Ouch.

She has some big head too so it was like walking into a watermelon with red hair. Except she's, hopefully, not filled with pink mush and seeds. Ew.

"Hey stranger, nice of you to show up," I said sweetly through gritted teeth. Well as sweetly as talking through gritted teeth can get.

Lily sighed, "I was just clearing my thoughts."

"What at like eight on a Saturday morning?"

"I have a lot to think about."

I rolled my eyes, "You could have woken me up and talked to me, and maybe I wouldn't have been worried sick about where the hell my best friend was. You know, just a thought."

She glowered at me, "Last time I woke you, you nearly killed me for interrupting your dream. Apologies for enjoying my face intact."

"You're so vain," I muttered.

"You know that's not what I meant."

"Do I?"

"What?"

"What?"

This conversation was rapidly decreasing my IQ. It's not that high, so I was concerned it would get into negative figures pretty soon.

"Well I've decided," Lily said, "I have to at least run it past him."

"Run what past who?"

She shook her head at me, "I should at least mention to James that I sort of…you know."

"Well if you can't still say it to yourself then-"

It was at that moment alarm bells went off. A series of thoughts fired through my brain in quick succession. This is my thought process.

James is with Valerie. I.e. Lily is not in the picture.

James has given up on Lily. I.e. Lily is not in the picture.

Sirius is an asshole. I just thought I should reiterate it in my mind.

James also demonstrates mildly asshole like qualities. Bumhead.

If Lily tells said mild asshole that she likes him, he will reject her and she will be sad. That is not good for Lily, nor is it good for me.

I need a drink for these damn hiccups.

It was then I realised that the hiccups had gone. I smiled. Then, hiccup. "Damn," I hissed.

Lily looked amused, "Were you planning on saying something useful?"

I narrowed my eyes, "Maybe it's not such a good idea to," hiccup, "tell him."

"What?" she yelped, "you were miss-tell-him-and-get-it-out-in-the-open last night!"

"Well maybe it's not such a good idea to tell him right now…"

"Huh?"

I furrowed my eyebrows. I had a choice, either I could tell her the truth: that James was already dating (I had another word for it but I would keep it to myself) Valerie and that he had relinquished his feelings – or whatever they were – for her. That was the hard option.

Or, I could lie. That was the easy option.

I was in no mood for hardship.

I sighed, "Sirius is," hiccup ,"constipated."

Lily wrinkled her nose, "So…?"

"So, James is considerably distressed by the plight of his friend, and I think it's best not to burden him with other issues."

Deep, if I say so myself. Cue hiccup.

She laughed, "You're joking right? This is one of your weird jokes that I don't get, right?"

"Am not. And since when don't you get my jokes?"

"Uh, since always?"

I scowled, "But seriously, he's not feeling well, and you know the whole joined at the hip deal, when one of them is ill the other one feels equal pain, yadda yadda." Hiccup.

She looked at me unconvinced, "Fine, I'll leave it until Sirius' kidneys loosen up…or whatever that whole process is."

I felt a little bit sick at the thought of Sirius on the toilet, taking a long dump. Ok, way too graphic.

"I just need to go to the common room and get something, I'll meet you for breakfast."

I scanned those actions for any sign of possible danger. What if James was still in the common room? He would definitely bring up the subject, narcissistic goat that he was.

"Hey, why don't I go get it?"

Lily looked confused," What?"

"I'll. Go. Get. It," I repeated slowly.

"You're being weird."

"What," hiccup, "so me being nice is me being weird?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Thanks, man. You cut me deep, but thanks."

Lily smiled at me, "It's fine I'll go get it."

I hiccupped before I had a chance to reply, and before I could stop her she had walked in. I decided to remove myself from the situation as far as possible, I think I had created enough trouble for the time being.

----

Lily's POV

I never will get Courtney. Like ever. But whatever, I just needed to get my cardigan and get down to breakfast. Of course, life is never that simple.

The Marauders were lounging in a shady corner. Nothing new there. I was sort of happy to feel a slight twinge in my stomach at the sight of James, as I realised my 'crush' wasn't just a passing thing. Then again, it made me feel a little bit sick, the weight of carrying something like that around in my head.

As usual, I ignored them, taking (for some unbeknownst reason) Courtney's advice to avoid them because of Sirius'…problems. How she came into that information I really don't know.

I was about to go up the stairs into our dorm when I saw James walk towards me out of the corner of my eye. Damn. I felt my heart thud rapidly in my chest, and it felt like little fairies were swirling around in my stomach. Ok, breathe, inhale, exhale.

He smirked at me, "Hey."

Nothing weird there, "Hi," I managed to squeak.

"Something you want to tell me?" he smiled.

I looked at him suspiciously, "No, should there be?"

James tilted his head on one side, "You tell me."

"What the hell is this, one of your idiot games?"

He shrugged, "Not really. Hey, you know me and Val are seeing each other right?"

I felt like an anvil had dropped into the pits of my stomach. I made my voice as acidic as possible and said, "I don't know whether seeing is the right word for what you two are doing."

He laughed, "So me and Courtney had a nice talk."

This was getting really weird. I shifted uncomfortably, "OK, so?"

"Don't you want to know what about?"

His eyes were glittering with happiness, and I felt my palms getting sweaty.

"No, not really, I've got to go get my…" my voice trailed off as I turned to get as far away from him as possible. He grabbed my hand. Shit, he could probably feel the sweat trickle down his wrist.

I turned back to him, and could feel my face going bright red. "What do you want James?"

"I think it's more a question of what you want."

My mouth went dry, "Ok, whatever, let me go." Of course, he didn't.

"So you finally decided to let your guard down. It's about time," he yanked me in and my eyes were so close to his face that I could see a little pimple forming on his forehead. It was quite a turn off.

I could vaguely see where this conversation was going, but being this close to him was dizzying. I think he knew it was having that effect.

"About time what?" I just about managed.

He relaxed his grip, and sneered, "We can be acquaintances if you want. But that's where it stops. And that friend of yours has a pretty big mouth; you might want to be more careful about who you tell your secrets to."

I felt like I was going to throw up, "What…?"

"You know what. Your feelings have come a little bit late," he said, and let go of me completely. Literally, and metaphorically I suppose if you want to get into all that.

To my horror I felt a burning in my throat, and a stinging in my eyes. He even looked a little bit guilty as I tore out of the common room, determined to find Courtney and dismember her limb from limb. Now it made sense why she didn't want me to tell James. She had already opened her fat gob and taken care of it.


	8. Eight

**A/N: Hellloooooo! :D thanks for reviews etc xx**

Okay, so I needed water. Quick.

Let's get this straight. When I need something badly; I don't think about it. I just **have** to have it.

So, you can imagine my absolute delight when after frantically running through the corridors like a headless chicken, I saw a bowl full of water.

This is when I pause to consider just how much of an idiot I truly am. Pause over.

I didn't think about the dangers of swallowing an unattended bowl of liquid, in Hogwarts of all the places in the world.

So I just drank the whole thing.

It was five seconds later when I got this strange swirling sensation in the pits of my stomach did I then realise: I had swallowed the contents of a pensieve.

Oh shit.

For about three seconds the swirling in my stomach stopped.

I was hopeful enough to think that maybe nothing would happen.

But not stupid enough to realise that in about a few minutes I would be whirling through someone's memories.

I mean who leaves a fucking pensieve in the middle of nowhere? Especially where some idiot, like me, could just go and drink it as a cure for hiccups.

And they still haven't gone.

Damn hiccups.

What if someone meant me to find it?

But who would give me hiccups?

And how do you get hiccups anyway?

Damn hiccups.

I knew what happened when someone **stuck** their head in a pensieve. They went flying through someone's memories.

Anyway I didn't know if someone had ever swallowed the contents of a pensieve before. In fact, as stupid as it sounds, at that precise moment I felt special. Like I was the only person to ever eat a pensieve. Then I realised I was being thicker than usual, and that apart from the fact that my eyes changed colour in different lights, nothing was special about me.

Back to depression.

Five more seconds of sweet, sweet depression and then it hit me.

Literally.

I collapsed onto the ground and felt myself shrinking.

No shit. Shrinking.

And then I disappeared.

-----

Well it **felt** like I had disappeared. In reality I had become like a sort of ghost. It was pretty cool if at that precise moment I wasn't terrified.

I only fear one thing. Flying. And apart from that I'm fearless. I'm a black belt and I'm proud of it, even though at the moment I have no muscles. Then I **would** have won that arm wrestling match against Sirius.

Stupid Sirius.

So I decided to walk back to the common room and try and find Lily. Partly to freak her out, partly to get help. I found myself wistfully hoping that Lily and James had had no contact with each other, and that everything would be wonderful and all that. Surprisingly everything looked the same size; but I felt really small. I am not short. I am a looming five foot four. **Looming**. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Ok so I'm short. But not that short. In fact I'm pretty average don't you think?

I think I have some sort of complex.

As soon as I got to the Gryffindor common room door I waved my hand around to try and get the **Fat** Lady's attention. She didn't even notice me. That's when it occurred to me, that I might be invisible. And then I thought that if I was invisible maybe I could walk through walls too. So I tried to walk through the common room door. I bumped my head and landed on my butt. I do a lot of that.

Cursing to myself I got up. The Fat Lady looked around; I guess people (and paintings) could still hear me.

Oh shit.

This wasn't as fun as I thought it was going to be, and now I had to wait for someone to walk out before I could walk in. It was Frank Longbottom who opened the door first.

Typical. Pretty early on a Saturday and he was one of the first people out. For some fun I decided to poke him. And that's when I got sucked in.

I could hear what he was thinking. And more importantly what he was thinking about **me**.

And it was disturbing.

_**No girl would ever go out with me. Especially Courtney. **_

_Hold up there, big guy. _

Frank stopped in his tracks, "Who said that?"

_Um, __me._

"Me?"

Think fast, think fast.

_Um, I'm your conscience?_

Silence.

"I've been needing someone to talk to…" Frank muttered, "Can I?"

_Can you what?_

"Tell you something, conscience."

Man, was this guy stupid or what?

_Yup._

I guessed I could play along. And then I realised if I could get inside Frank's mind; I could get inside James' mind too! I could pretend to be his conscience and get him to like Lily again. Oh the wonders I would work. But for the moment I was stuck.

I didn't quite know how to get out of Frank Longbottom.

I didn't think I would ever have to think that.

Frank sat down on a bench.

Jackass.

_So what's on your mind?_ I asked.

Frank laughed. A snorty kind of laugh. The laugh that turns off all girls and removes any remotely sexual thoughts from their head; even if they've just had the wildest orgasm of their life.

That's how bad it is.

"Well I sort of have a crush."

Lord no.

_I think you better stop talking to yourself and start thinking thoughts inste__ad, Frank. People might think you're a bit crazy._

_**You're right**_**.**

Smart cookie, he was.

_So, what's up?_

_**I like a girl.**_

_Ok, who is she?_

_**She's in Gryffindor too.**_

_Yeah, but who __is she?_ _Is it Lily?_

_**No, she's nice, but she's James' property.**_

_Not any more._

_**What was that?**_

_Do you like smores?_

_**Sure. But I like Courtney Williams.**_

_You __what now?_

_**I like Courtney. You've probably seen her?**_

_Oh the incredibly sexy one?_

_**Yeah.**_

_You weren't meant to say that I was being sarcastic._

_**Oh. But she's really pretty. I think so anyway.**_

_That's...nice. So?_

_**Do you know her eyes change colour? **_

_Hm._

_**You don't sound so interested for a conscience.**_

_It's not that. I'm just tired. _

(And super freaked out, but I didn't say that to him.)

_Can we talk about this later?_

(Never again.)

_**Sure**__._

_Ok, I' m switching off._

_**Hey, how come you've never spoken to me before.**_

_You never really asked for it._

_**But-**_

_Shut up Frankie. Goodbye. _

I didn't know quite how to exit Frank; but I thought really hard of getting out and I landed with a thump on the cold stone floor.

Frank jumped.

"Hello?"

I guessed he still couldn't see me. I knew this invisibility kick wouldn't last long. I had to find James.

I had me a bit of matchmaking to be doing. Time to shine.


	9. Nine

The common room door was still hanging open. Frank had forgotten to close it. Typical moronic behaviour for a typical moron.

I walked through and couldn't help but catch sight of Sirius.

Focus, I told myself, you need to find James.

But wouldn't it be fun to hear what he was thinking?

And to screw him up really badly.

I also happened to notice the lack of Lily. I frowned to myself, hoping she had found what she wanted and gone down to breakfast.

So I slithered up to Sirius and gave him a poke. Well it was kind of a slap. I hate that boy, what can I say.

The next thing I knew I was in the head of Sirius. It was so damn loud in there I nearly went deaf. I mean, for a twat he thinks a lot.

Surprisingly.

Mostly about various girls. I heard my name a few times, but I couldn't pick out anything from the jumble except fluffy.

I am not fluffy.

Time for the Courtney-Conscience to jump in. I figured, since this time I knew what I was doing I could have a bit of fun. Then I seriously needed to find James and force him to fall in love with Lily.

It sounds a bit harsh when you say it like that.

If the guy doesn't like Lily anymore then I shouldn't force him to. It would be like a sort of arranged marriage. Except they wouldn't be getting married.

It's weird, first James was besotted with Lily and she gave him no lift.

Now Lily's the mildly besotted one, and James, well, has no interest.

And he's giving up.

But giving up isn't a Potterish thing to do. Maybe he was possessed! With the ghost of a lonely elf. That makes so much more sense now. James Potter the lonely elf. Yes.

No.

_Hello, I am your conscience._

"My what?"

Several of the bimbos around him looked up at him in confusion. Sucker.

_I am inside your head. I hear what you think. But think it don't say it, or people will begin to mock you. More so._

_**People don't mock me!**_

He had gotten it pretty fast. Not as fast as Frank, but Frank was just strange.

_People do so mock you. They call you THE MOCKER!_

_**Ouch do you have to shout?**_

_I did not shout!_

_**YES YOU DID!**_

_Ouch. __So who do you like the best out of your bimbo friends?_

_**Well if you put Louisa's legs, Ellen's chest and-**_

_Alright, I get it you're a complete man whore, let's move on._

_**Am not. Fine, a little bit**__**.**__**It's my birthday next week.**_

_Happy birthday._

_**Not yet! You know what I want for my birthday?**_

_No. What's the time?_

_**Nine thirty, and you're my conscience you should know.**_

_Oh shit. I've got to go; I've been overworked. And, you want some girl naked on a plate right?_

_**Not quite. Why have I never spoken to you before?**_

I was expecting that question.

_I only come on once every, um, ten years. _

I don't know what quite propelled me to do what I did next.

_Who do you have a crush on?_

_**What? YOU SHOULD KNOW!**_

_Holy shit stop shouting I can hear you!_

_**You are a very bad conscience.**_

_Yeah? Well you're a bad conscience too!_

_**I'm not a conscience.**_

_That's what they want you to think you __goat._

_**Me what?**_

And then, without even having to think this time I was out of Sirius' head.

It was quite funny actually. His face was all red and screwed up like he was constipated. The Bimbo Crew looked worried.

And then James waltzed down the stairs, no doubt to come and poke fun at his husband. I needed to grab him before that so I could have a good heart to heart with the object of my friend's affection.

No big deal.

Just get him to fall head over heels for Lily again.

I mean if it can happen once it can happen twice, right?

Right.

**A/N: Hey guys…I know it's really short but yeah : ) enjoy, glad it's making you smile :P x**


	10. Ten

Now all I had to do was walk up to James and poke him.

So why was it so hard?

_Maybe because you know that it's wrong?_

Oh no.

_**I have a conscience too?**_

_Like hell you do._

_**Wait. Who are you and when did you eat the pensieve?**_

_I am your conscience you fool. __You know it's wrong because you are potentially screwing with someone's feelings._

_**REMUS LUPIN GET THE **__**HELL OUT OF MY HEAD!**_

_I AM YOUR CONSCIENCE YOU...YOU...__BUFFALO BUTT!_

I thought about it for a second. Only I could have come up with something like that.

_**My head hurts.**_

_So stop thinking. It shouldn't be too hard for a moron like you_.

Yep that's me, alright.

Despite having an interesting inner debate with myself; I decided I was going to go ahead and do it anyway.

For Lily. She was my best friend.

Inhaling sharply I reached out to James and poked his shoulder.

For a minute there I thought people were actually looking at me.

Then I realised all eyes were on me. **They could see me**.

I raised my head slowly to look at James who had a confused; but slightly amused, expression on his face.

"Courtney? Is there any reason you are poking me? I mean I know you're a bit mad and all but-"

Double shit.

"What! You can see me!"

"Yes unfortunately..." muttered Sirius.

"Shut it, loser. But you're not meant to!"

"Well I can and so can everybody else. And how did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"You know, pop out of thin air?"

"I did?"

"Yes you did," he replied rather impatiently.

"Uh."

"Uh?"

Remus was eyeing me bemusedly. I couldn't blame him.

"I'm...well...it's that time of the month you know! Hormones everywhere, ."

James nose crinkled up in disgust, "How come no other girls pop up around the castle?"

"That would be **very** useful," mused Sirius, to a bunch of girlish squeals.

I shot him a disgusted look, "It only happens once every ten years."

"Wait, where have I heard that before?" asked Sirius standing up, causing the girl sitting in his lap to fall off.

"In your head?"

Then I realised my mistake. Triple shit. The colour drained from my face.

As soon as I made eye contact with him; I think something inside him must have clicked. He pointed his finger at me and began advancing towards me, saying, "That sounds very familiar."

"No. Really really no. I really have to go. There," I pointed vaguely towards the door and started scurrying.

He stopped abruptly, "You! Where?"

"Somewhere," I muttered and ran out.

I was halfway down the corridor, when I heard footsteps behind me. I doubted anyone was following me, I was of no particular interest.

Much.

I took a surprise turn, and found the footsteps followed me too.

Well, I decided, I could play this game.

I ambled along slowly for a few more minutes and waited until the pace of the footsteps began to slacken. Then without any warning I broke out into a full sprint.

Now let's get this straight. When it comes to sport I'm not very fit. I mean this isn't a Muggle school, they don't have P.E lessons here like they did at my old school. So it wasn't long before I ran out of breath.

From the sound of it the person these footsteps belonged to was smart. They had anticipated my sprinting and also knew I was physically challenged. So they were catching up to me.

I closed my eyes and whirled around. I was stupid enough to keep my eyes closed, I mean I didn't even think of opening them. I was even scrunching them really tightly, so I must have looked like a right moron.

Not that that's anything new.

I was standing there for a while and then I heard the footsteps stop right in front of me.

I still don't know why I didn't open my eyes but I did say, "If you curse me I'll hex you back so bad that you won't be able to have children – especially if you're a boy."

A low voice chuckled, it was a boy.

But then something that sounded like a mouse said, "I am a boy, you goat."

"Now you don't sound like a boy or are there two of you?"

I subconsciously spun around in a circle.

"I changed my voice so you won't know who I am. And you can open your eyes now."

I tried. I couldn't.

"What have YOU done you wanker?" I yelled, clawing the air. I jumped in the direction I thought the voice was coming from, but landed in a crumpled heap on the floor. I was practically growling:

"Open my eyes!"

"Nope."

I rose to my feet, "I am going to remove your balls with a toothpick."

"Ah, so you're the kinky type," the squeaky voice giggled like a chipmunk. It was very off putting.

"You must be smart to do that magic."

Then it clicked.

"FRANK LONGBOTTOM YOU PRICK! UNDO THIS RIGHT NOW!"

No reply. I might as well have been talking to air.

"HELLO? FRANK YOU-"

It was at that point I was rather rudely cut off by a kiss.

I'm not saying I didn't enjoy it. It was quite nice for a total idiot. So I did the only thing a hormonally challenged girl would do. I kissed him back. God how I hoped it was a him. And not some lesbian stalker. But ten seconds later I was kissing air. I tried opening my eyes but whoever the hell this was still hadn't muttered the counter-charm.

I was going to give up, but then I tried opening my stupid eyes one last time.

And it worked. I blinked **seven** times to regain focus and quickly scanned the area.

Nothing.

I was very angry, but then I saw something that made the anger slowly ebb away.

For there, lying on the floor was a wand.

I smiled to myself. This was going to be good.

I was weighing two things in my mind what was more important : Lily or stranger.

Lily my best friend.

Stranger, who I probably knew but was still, well, strange.

Unless it was Frank. Then I wasn't going to pursue it any further. Then again it probably **was** Frank. Stupid Frank. Well **I** wasn't going to give him back his wand; he could come crawling back to me for it. Nitwit.

Well that settled it. Lily won.

**A/N: Hi, thanks for all the support ;) promise promise promise Lily will re emerge soon :D xxx**


	11. Eleven

**A/N: Hi hi hi, glad you guys are enjoying it! Thanks to all you readers, especially you reviewers ;) ****Got an interview with Gap so nervous! xxx**

If I knew Lily she would be somewhere quiet. Secluded. Where she could shut herself off from the whole world.

Library.

I had never ever set foot in the library.

**Ever**.

Well, alright, maybe a few times but only when I needed to go retrieve Lily from her tomb of books or if I wanted to find a really good curse.

I headed towards the room in question; my footsteps echoing off the walls.

When I finally reached the library I really didn't want to go in.

I mean, it's the **library**.

I hate everything about it. The way the shelves seem to lean in on you; almost as if they're going to fall. The way some of the corners are so dark you can barely read the spines of the books, even if you stick your face right up to them. And that smell. That musty booky smell; like old paper that's never seen air.

I was almost certain that Lily was in here.

And, for once, I was right.

There are only five people in the whole school who have red hair.

**Five**.

And Lily is one of them.

Lily is also one of the few people in the school who actually enjoy the library.

I mean she's not a **total** bookworm, but she doesn't mind reading. And not just for learning; for fun! Actually just for the sake of reading.

I will never understand that girl and how her mind works.

So when I caught a flash of red hair in one of those dingy, dark, damp corners I hate so much; I knew it was Lily.

I smiled happily and bounded towards her, but as I got closer and closer I saw her face get angrier and angrier. As I neared her, I saw she was gripping her pencil pretty hard.

"Thought you were going to go to breakfast? Well, I guess it's better than you crying all over the place, but why so angry?"

She rose slowly from her table, "I. Don't. Want. To. Talk. To. YOU."

I looked at her confusedly, "Huh? What did I do?"

"What did you do?" she hissed, "WHAT DID YOU DO?"

"Uh…"

"Maybe, just maybe, you told James that I liked him! And maybe, he was just a complete twit towards me and I've never felt like such an idiot in my life!"

"Maybe, I swallowed some Veritaserum and had no choice, BUT to tell Sirius Black I found him fit, and to tell James that-"

"SO not the time for your weird lies. Whoops, I meant stories."

I gaped at her, "I'M NOT LYING."

She growled at me and flicked her wand. Nothing happened for a few seconds, and I felt my nose burn and to my horror it shot out before me.

"Really? Well your nose says otherwise!"

Glowering at me, she shrunk back to her desk and resumed reading her book. I tried to remain as calm as possible. Hard to do when you look even more freakish than you did before.

"Fix my nose."

"No."

"FIX MY NOSE BITCH!"

"No, I'm busy reading."

She had a right to be angry, I guess. But if she would just hear me out, she would realise it wasn't my fault! Much. And she had no right to grow my nose. I could handle that on my own.

I looked at her. I looked at the book she was reading.

"Upside down?"

"Huh?"

"You're holding the book upside down you loser."

"I like to challenge myself."

"Sure," I pointed to my nose. She pointedly ignored me.

"I don't want to talk to you right now."

"WELL WITH THIS GROWTH ON MY FACE WHO THE HELL WOULD WANT TO LOOK AT ME! FIX. MY. NOSE!"

She looked at me tiredly, "If you just admit you were wrong, then maybe we can-"

"I wasn't wrong. Can't you just believe me?"

"No."

I gawped at her, "You're seriously letting James Potter break us up."

She got up and started walking away from me, "James Potter didn't' break us up, Courtney. You did."

I felt sick in my stomach, and little twinges of guilt shot through me. I guess this was sadness. Then five minutes later:

"Can I borrow a pencil?" Whoever this was, it was SO not the time for the lending of stationery equipment.

I looked up and saw Frank Longbottom. He was staring at my nose, with reason.

"Courtney…your nose…"

I touched it gingerly, "I know…" and then something snapped, "Frank Longbottom," I snarled, "Are you missing something?"

He gulped, "Like-like what?"

"A wand?"

He felt around in his pockets, "No, I have mine and-"

"LIAR! YOU BIG FAT STINKING EYES-CLOSING SQUIRREL SQUEAKY KISSING LIAR! I am going to castrate you!"

"Wait! Courtney! Wait- wait kissing?"

"Yes kissing! You kissed me! You idiotic-"

"I kissed you?"

At that point I should have realised he wasn't joking, but asking a question.

"Yes you kissed me! What is wrong with you!"

"I kissed you," he said, realisation dawning on his face.

"Who kissed who?"

"Sirius what the fuck are you doing in this library?" I asked.

"I could ask you the same question."

At that point the librarian, Madam-what's-her-name, came over and politely told us to shove off because we were making to much noise; and the eggheads couldn't study properly.

By force, we were standing outside, all three of us, Frank muttering under his breath and Sirius looking bemusedly at my nose.

"Courtney…your nose…it's a little bit…"

I growled at him, "I know. Shut up."

He flashed me a gorgeous grin, "What, don't you think my conscience already told me not to be mean to you? It only comes on once every ten years but when it does-"

I punched his arm. Ouch. It was pretty hard.

I sighed and thought of Lily. She was officially mental. I think she needed a shrink. Or maybe someone put some potion in her juice to make her a crazy woman. Who will grow up alone living in an alleyway next to a porno cinema in a dumpster, with twelve cats; eating banana peels and-

"So who kissed who?" asked Sirius again. That boy just doesn't quit.


	12. Twelve

I swiveled around, ignoring Sirius, and yelped in pain as my foot long nose smacked against the wall. Sirius barked with laughter. This was not a funny time.

"Do you want me to fix it for you?"

I scowled at him, "You come anywhere near me and I swear to God you'll never have kids."

He looked impressed, "Who said I wanted kids?"

"Well from what I've heard you'll want to have the option to make them."

He took out his wand and said, "Honestly, it will take like five seconds, hold still-"

"BLACK. Would you like your limbs detached?"

"I'd really like to see you try."

"Don't tempt me."

"Is that a threat?"

"No, it's a promise."

"Ouch."

"Did you see which way Lily went?"

"Maybe."

"TELL ME."

"If you tell me who kissed who."

Frank opened his mouth, and I silenced him with a glare.

"Black this has nothing to do with you. So keep you and your obscenely large head OUT of my business-"

"Our business," interrupted Frank meekly.

I looked at him in a way that made him cower.

Power is good.

"Our business.." Sirius repeated, and then he smiled, "Hey is there something going on between you two?"

Frank beamed, I yelled, "NO. I WOULD RATHER GO OUT WITH THAT FUNGUS OVER THERE!" I looked apologetically at Frank, "It's nothing personal, mate."

He stuttered, "Well actually, it is rather personal."

I glowered at him, "I can make it much more personal if you want it that way."

"I wouldn't mind that," said Sirius, winking at me.

I wanted to dig a hole and lie in it. This conversation was getting me nowhere.

"MY FRIENDSHIP IS IN JEOPARDY HERE."

"I really, really care," pouted Sirius.

"What's that?" I drawled sweetly, "Sirius Black **cares**? You care about FIVE things max."

"Yeah? And what would they be?"

I love the feeling of an argument starting up.

"Ok, number one, you. That's your priority. Yourself! Number two, girls. But no you don't care about smart girls and funny girls you care about HOT girls. Well newsflash not all girls are beautiful! You would date a girl with double G boobs even if she laughs at stuff that's not funny and doesn't know the ass end of a broom!"

Frank looked impressed at my continuing tirade. It was giving me a chance to vent out all my anger and sheer frustration. On Sirius. But he would get over it. Eventually.

"Number three your stupid friends who walk around like they own the place. Oh look at me! I'm James Potter and I can go around doing it with every girl and then breaking the heart of the one who really cares about me! I'm Peter Pettigrew and I just follow **everything** that James and Sirius and Remus do because I'm too stupid to do anything else! I'm Remus Lupin, and I'm a Veritaserum feeding, friendship wrecker!"

I paused for breath, and inhaled sharply.

"And I'm Sirius Black! I'm going to go snog that girl over there because of course she won't be able to resist me-"

"Hold on for one second! You don't even know what you're talking about! You're bloody mental-"

"Am I Sirius? Am I the deluded one? You're just like your family you think you're so great and-"

"**Yeah?** I'm like my fucking family now am I?"

Of course Frank had to butt in, stupid smart-Alec, "Now come on you two are acting like-"

"GET LOST FRANK!" we both yelled at the same time, and then we turned back to glower at each other.

Frank shrunk back into the wall and whimpered.

"I'm like my family?" he spat.

"Yes you are you stupid-"

"You don't even know my family!"

"Well I've heard enough about them."

He gaped at me, "YOU THINK HE KISSED YOU?" he shouted, pointing at Frank, "I KISSED YOU, YOU MORON!"

My jaw hit the cold, stone floor. Metaphorically speaking of course. Otherwise that would have been really, really painful. OK, I'll shut up.

"WHAT? WHY!"

"Because-"

"WAIT!" I swelled up with anger, "THIS IS SOME KIND OF TWISTED GAME TO YOU ISN'T IT!"

"WHAT?"

"Like that time you and James had that competition to see who could pull the most girls in a day! Oh my god, you are a Black, Sirius! And nothing is ever going to change that! A stupid stuck up guy who thinks that just because he **forcibly** kisses a girl she should drop at his feet!"

Frank looked suitably embarrassed.

"Williams, that has nothing to do with it! I am nothing like my family and you are obviously too thick to figure it out!"

Fuming, he twirled away and stormed off.

I swear, I never meant for things to go that far.


	13. Thirteen

Ok. Progress report.

Foot long nose – check.

Missing best friend who hates me – check.

Just gave Sirius good cause to kill me – check.

Screw my life.

This was way too much pressure for a brain as small as mine. I looked at Frank mumbling to himself in the corner, and slithered away from him down a corridor. Hopefully it was a never ending corridor. And I could just keep walking, and walking, and…well you get it.

Sighing, I slumped to the ground and wailed, "Why does my life SUCK?"

"Want to talk about it?"

I looked up and saw Remus smiling down at me. "Go. Away."

"No."

"I hate you."

"Cheers. Nice nose."

I scowled at him, and he flicked his wand. I felt my nose shrink back to its…voluptuous size.

"Thanks," I muttered.

He slid down to sit beside me, "So I was just talking to Lily."

"WHAT? Where? Where is she?"

Remus shrugged, "I was explaining everything to her."

"What? Like how you completely screwed up my life? Cool."

He chuckled wearily, "Look, I didn't do it on purpose. Isn't it better things are out in the open anyway?"

"Read my lips. No."

Tiredly, he ran a hand through his hair, "Good news is she's sort of willing to talk to you again."

"So, she doesn't believe ME when I say it but she believes YOU. Things are finally looking up."

"Listen, if you came up with that story I wouldn't believe you either, hey OW!" he yelled as I punched him.

"Shut up, it wasn't that hard."

"She's in the Charms class room if you want to go talk to her."

"Fine. Maybe I will."

"Anything else you want to tell me?"

"No. Is there something you know?"

"Hm. Sirius looked pretty angry just now, passed him in the corridor."

I grimaced at him, "What couldn't find a girl with a soft enough butt?"

"No," said Remus gently, "Apparently you got him pissed off."

"Hey, I thought you just **passed** him."

"Passed, had a conversation with, same thing."

"Not really."

There were a few minutes of contemplative silence.

"You know he's really not a bad guy."

"Hm."

"And he's absolutely nothing like his family."

"They're all assholes."

"Sirius can demonstrate asshole like qualities at times but he's no You-Know-Who worshipper."

"I suppose. He's still a man slut. Just goes around kissing loads of girls."

Remus sighed, "You really going to hold that against him for the rest of his life?"

"Yes. He kissed me you know."

"He likes you."

"Don't make me laugh."

"I'm not trying to," Remus looked pained.

"Ah Remus, thanks for trying to cheer me up," I smiled, "You're going to make me go say sorry aren't you."

"It would help. You know it would."

"I hate it when you're right."

He grinned, "What?"

"I grate cheese just right."

"Sure."

Stupid Remus.

x-X-x

My priority at this moment was definitely not apologising to Sirius. I was standing outside the door to the Charms classroom, but I couldn't bring myself to go in. I don't know why I was feeling so nervous, I mean it was just Lily. Breathing slowly, I wedged open the door and poked my head around it.

Lily was smiling vaguely at me from inside the room, "I won't blow your head off."

"Well you never know."

"You're an idiot."

"You're a bigger idiot."

"Why didn't you tell me what really happened?"

Frustration is not a big enough word. My mouth hung open, "BUT I…I did…told you…did so..." I helplessly trailed off.

She smirked at me, "Was that even English?"

I stood mute.

Then, out of nowhere, she burst into cackles, "Remus was right, that WAS fun!"

I glared at her, "You are not funny."

"On the contrary."

"So…"

Suddenly she hugged me, "I'm sorry," she mumbled.

"Me too. It was all, technically Remus' fault."

"I guess. And it wasn't really worth it anyway…"

"Are you kidding?"

"I think I should get over this crush."

"Don't be stupid."

"James hates me."

"Hate's a strong word. How about vehemently dislike?"

"Fine, James vehemently dislikes me," she sighed sadly, "I've decided boys suck."

I struggled to contain my mirth, and Lily interrupted, "No inappropriate jokes."

"Ok…well at least things are a lot clearer."

"Clearer, yet shit," Lily mused.

"Look, we can just avoid the whole lot of them. I just had a massive fight with Sirius and I don't particularly want to see any of them."

"That's nothing new."

I sighed. At least things were looking up.

**A/N: Hey guys, ok so (relatively) lots of Lily, and I know it's not great but I'm kind of stuck. Heh. xxxx**


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